Letters to Verónica: Verónica answers...

Dear Su!

Your email has touched me. You can publish. It’s a beautiful gesture and I don’t feel forced, or unreasonable, or desperate for not managing to get anything else. As long as the conversation won’t be manipulated to an audience, and it goes as it reaches me, I think it’s really fine and I repeat: it’s a very beautiful gesture, which impressed me. It’s strength also lays on the non arrogance and honesty and straightfulness of how you write. Write anything that comes into your mind and then we see, but you can write anything at all.

I now answer to your close words, so close…
I was reading you and reaching the part when you’d like to be invisible and an idea came to me: I’ve seen you walking a duck through the neighbourhood as a pet, or even a goose (but they are more dangerous) with a rope or a red string (it’s more sexy) on its neck and see what happens. I saw that people would come to you (for the duck), interact and that they would accept you. Don’t ask me why but I had that image and it hunts me now. Don’t ask me how…but I still find it a fabulous idea. I still think why is it and I find a memory of a gypsy neighbourhood in Macedonia where there were ducks in the streets and somehow this neighbourhood reminded me of the other one.

Of course I’ve seen the brother with the lawn tractor and I found the same poetics from your idea of writing me…or even simply this email.
It’s an absurd search and it suddenly it reminds me the book “Conquest of the Useless”, it’s the diary of the shooting from Fitcarraldo. I’d like us to read it together… and time, that dispute of impatience, our Walser.

Back to our dialogue of quotes, your from Pasteur (I like it) it reminds me this one that seats on another level, but doesn’t entirely contradict it: “circumstances? I am the circumstances”, it’s more or less like this. And it’s from Napoleon. You’ll have to make the circumstances as well. You’ll make them. Luck protects the audacious.

If the book is good, will you send it to me? Claire’s one, I have so much to read that I don’t know how. Checked my agenda and it’s possibly quite full until Nov 2012… :p

And it seems there’s nothing you write me that doesn’t remind me of tango at some point. Or maybe it’s tango that it’s stuck in my head: comme il faut is the name of the brand of the most fancy tango shoes from Buenos Aires. See the shop and the shoes on the web. They are super beautiful and the experience of buying them as well. You enter a shop where there’s a small room for men to wait and women go to another room where a few shoes are displayed. Then the lady comes with two pairs and asks you which ones you like the most. There are the two shapes of the shop. You choose one and then you have to say what you’d like: material, colour, wide, closed, sandal, etc. she goes back inside and brings a few with that kind of shape, according to your description and then you say: I’d like more so or so. She goes back inside and brings some more until you’ll keep one or a few pairs.  (Americans take 4 pairs…) but you can never see all the shop has. It’s fantastic as an experience, you feel like a queen. Quite opposed to the place where you are… Well, it would be nice that you’d take comme il faut to walk the duck. That would be the weirdest thing that exists but… makes perfect sense. Watch it: do you remember the story of the duck caretaker that is the daughter of a king? Her father sends her to take care of the ducks because she says she loves him as much as she loves salt. Do you know it? Maybe it’s not by chance that all this comes in this email. My little princess what are you doing there? What do you find that you don’t know already? Which treasure will this neighbourhood bring you? Which salt? A denounced princess crossing the neighbourhood with a duck and comme il faut shoes… No, the best! This is just a couple pictures and it’s a critic to artists pretend to be what they’re not, through an uncanny situation that shows exactly what they are… sorry, I’m raving through your project. It’s not fair. I flew. Sorry but I don’t delete it, so there’s nothing you don’t know.

In any case, I do remember of the neighbourhood. It’s good to know you there, it gives a deep peace to my less happy memories. I remember staying in bed facing the big window, after Jasper went out for Maths class, watching the snow falling. It was so beautiful! I’ve seen so much snow in that neighbourhood! The moments I passed staring at the window… or going to Albert Hein on my own…those were the best. And I liked it. I also enjoyed the area of the lake. Or the canal where the boats were, wherever that was… Maybe that’s where the duck comes from. I’m sorry I can’t stop thinking of it… qua qua qua sorry Su

Yesterday Tiago came here again. He arrived at two o’clock in the morning after playing music. It went bad for him. No one showed up… I haven’t slept much today…Yesterday he told me that he was also scared of me, I asked him why and he said “Because it’s so good. It’s unknown. And the unknown is scary.” I’m sorry to mix this stuff in your email for the work, but look I guess we can…

From the neighbourhood: the houses, so social…Jesus, total social architecture…I also remember the absence of number in the doors or in some floors, something quite different from here…isn’t it? And the light from the snow; the quietness of the snow; waiting for the snow. And you there now. I’d love to go seeing you, of course! Maybe it will be possible. That is also my dream, a lot before the residency, it grew when I was there: we’d be together in the Netherlands and it would be awesome. Do you remember this dream of mine?

I really like you. I’m very cheesy today. It must be from the night. I’m happy. I don’t know how for how long will it last but I’m happy. And I’m curious to know if you tried something after our phone call. I checked the meaning of the word “serendipity” that I didn’t know…It magically fits all I’ve written…we’re in sintony!!!

I’m now searching for Herzog’s book to transcribe the first page and I’ll have to say goodbye. Believe in magic, it’s possible after that:

Fitzcarraldo: !por el cocinero de sus perros!
!por Verdi!! Por Rossini! ! POr Caruso!
Dom Araujo: !Por Fitzcarraldo, el conquistador de lo inútil!
Fitzcarraldo: !Tan cierto como que estoy parado delante de usted, un dia voy a llevar gran ópera a la selva!
!Soy... mayoría!
!Soy los billones!
!Soy el teatro en la jungla!
!Soy el inventor del caucho!
!Sólo a través de mí el caucho se hace palabra!

Dialogo de la pelicula Fitzcarraldo

(Fitzcarraldo: Now for the cook of his dogs!
Now for Verdi! For Rossini! ! By Caruso!
Sun Araujo:! For Fitzcarraldo, the conquistador of the useless!
Fitzcarraldo:! As surely as I stand before you, one day I will bring grand opera to the jungle!
! I am ... Most!
! I am the billions!
! I'm the theatre in the jungle!
! I am the inventor of rubber!
! Me only through the rubber becomes word!

Dialogue from the movie Fitzcarraldo)

There’s also the German version of the book, the original one, actually!! Maybe there’s also an English one…

Don’t kill the neighbours, and don’t take too much cold, can you use the stove? Look, don’t forget that fear comes from the unknown, it’s because you can’t understand the rules that they scare you, don’t forget they are people like you.

A tender hug,